‘Dancing With the Stars’: It’s reigning men?

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On Monday night’s episode, the new ladies of ‘Dancing With the Stars’ gave surprisingly competent performances but not too much else. Sabrina Bryan and Mel B bring a little sass, but on DWTS, it’s typically been the gentlemen who deliver the yuks, often to make up for a lack of talent (like Billy Ray Cyrus last season). However, this season the guys have got spark and a surprising amount of talent: While Josie Maran delivered the one dud performance Monday, none of the guys fell on their faces in their debuts.

First out of the gate was soap star Cameron Mathison, taking the role of the ‘not too old but not too young’ male dancer (think Harry Hamlin) and also the first to warn everyone that he’s got an injury of some sort -- what’s with these guys? He, Mark Cuban and Helio Castroneves are so fragile.

Featuring the ‘professional athlete with natural dancing ability’ (reprising Emmitt Smith’s role), boxer Floyd Mayweather’s segment included the first argument between a star and a pro, trash talk and a strangely edited version of Outkast’s ‘The Way You Move’ -- is the word ‘eargasm’ one you can’t use on TV?

The hosts and judges let the bad puns roll as Castroneves, a race car driver, pleased the audience with a smooth fox trot -- he was on cruise control, he was on all four cylinders, so forth and so on.

The world was then introduced to Albert Reed, a model who, if he hadn’t already secured himself a place in the competition with his good looks and jokey personality, thrust his pelvis so hard it probably broke some television screens. Rest assured he’ll have no problem staying in the game for some time.

Not to be outdone was Cuban, the billionaire owner of the Dallas Mavericks. He could have been the Tucker Carlson of 2007 with his lack of stage or athletic training and rather bulky frame, but Cuban clearly was having the time of his life dancing and lip-synching. Audiences are likely to see themselves in him (well, a much wealthier version of themselves) and will probably keep Cuban around for his fun personality.

Finally, the token older gentleman of the program, well-preserved Las Vegas legend Wayne Newton, did a better than expected job with two-time champion partner Cheryl Burke. These two may prove more interesting than they seem at first glance: On the one hand, Burke’s been given increasingly older partners with each season; on the other, she’s receiving increasing media attention and is known as something of a strict partner, so she might force Newton to actually dance his faux-tanned butt off, instead of letting him coast on charm and props as previous older dancers like George Hamilton have.

‘Dancing With the Stars’ week grinds on for one more day, with the results show tonight. As in previous seasons, the getting will surely get good as the weaker dancers are plucked off, but for now the best bet is to keep the eye on the guys.

-- Claire Zulkey