Secondhand fur coats? You know we’re in...

Secondhand fur coats? You know we’re in a recession when it’s announced that a Goodwill store is opening this month in ritzy Hancock Park.

Hard times in the mansion biz: But we shouldn’t poke fun at Hancock Park. Sales of homes in the million-dollar category in Southern California suffered the steepest decline in the real estate industry last year--about 29%--Dataquick Information Systems said Wednesday.

Nearly a third of the buyers of million-dollar cottages paid with cash in 1991, Dataquick says, but only a fourth did so last year. Depressing.

Nothing to howl about: Cars, jewelry and even 8,100 pairs of shoelaces will go on the block today at a Rancho Dominguez warehouse when U.S. Customs and the Internal Revenue Service hold their annual auction of seized items. It lacks the glamour of last year’s event, though. On that day, a crate of 12,090 pooper-scoopers was sold for $7,750. Yup, some lucky buyer was the beneficiary of a pooper-scooper sale gone bad.

Dial-a-Laugh: Betty Cockerill of West L.A. chuckled over the AT&T; bill that Gary Warschaw sent along the other day, the one with the caption that said, “This is a condensed bill which compresses information to use fewer pages”--and was, in fact, blank. But Cockerill thinks the jokesters at AT&T; sent her a bill a few months ago that was every bit as amusing.

Worthy causes: Runner’s World magazine, as you may have heard, will ask readers in its April issue to contribute funds for a jogging track at the White House for President Clinton. Next, we hope RW’s readers will help out another needy physical fitness exponent, actress Kim Basinger. In her preliminary agreement to star in “Boxing Helena”--she later dropped out of the movie--she demanded several perks for her dressing room, including a treadmill.

miscelLAny:

Alex Litrov of Encino points out that the Church of the Valley in Van Nuys is on Vesper Avenue.