THE YEAR IN REVIEW

I’m surprised you were able to stretch even two of the 11 scenarios in Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic” to fit the definition of irony (“ ’96 by the Numbers,” Dec. 29). Though tragic, inconvenient and downright bummers, I didn’t think any of them really fit the bill.

But some friends and I did invent a fun game to play over dinner when the conversation lulls: We simply take turns embellishing the lyrical events to give them elements of true irony.

For example, the plane-crash scenario as it stands merely proves that the person’s lifelong fears were right. But make that person a psychologist who helped his patients overcome their phobia of flying, and voila!

Likewise, a black fly in a winemaking crop-duster’s chardonnay, rain on a meteorologist’s wedding day, a too-late pardon for a game show host’s execution . . . bzzzz! Sorry! (Brings new meaning to “parting gifts” too!)

See, modern music can be intellectually stimulating. Ironic, don’tcha think? (No again!)

CHRISTOPHER HOFFMAN

Los Angeles

*

I very much enjoyed your year-end issue and would like to comment on a few things.

The Silent Pictures cartoon by Maratta was both funny and misleading. The truth is that the price of a movie ticket is one of the few truly great bargains left.

In “High Budget, Low Gross,” the list of 14 feature films revealed an aggregate “cost” of about $600 million against a total domestic gross of about $300 million. However, when you add the income they’ll generate from overseas grosses, pay-per-view and home video, many of these “box-office disasters” will be in the black.

Seeing as how you mentioned the “O-word” (Ovitz), Happy New Year to all of us--the taxpayers--who get to pay our fair share (40%) of Mike’s $90-million “take-a-hike” package.

And what mental midget thought it would be a good idea to build a world-class tourist attraction--the new Getty Museum--at arguably the worst vehicular traffic location on the planet?

CRAIG RUSSELL RAICHE

Azusa

*

Once again I have read Kevin Thomas’ year-end 10-best list with open-mouthed amazement. As an avid moviegoer who sees approximately 50 films a year and subscribes to Premiere, Movieline and Entertainment Weekly, I find it inconceivable that there would be a Top 10 list of films that had only three that I recall having heard of, much less seen.

I question the wisdom of a paper like the L.A. Times employing a movie critic whose taste is so far out on the fringes. What percentage of your readers have any interest in these films? His list of obscure films seems very elitist to me.

Classifying these as “art films” may be too general, but I can’t really believe that Kenneth Turan’s No. 1 film wasn’t good enough to make Thomas’ list at all. Obviously the standards for selecting these two Top 10 lists are widely divergent, and possibly that needs to be explained for those of us like myself who don’t quite get it.

JIM DAVIS

Signal Hill

*

In his endless quest to champion “the latest thing” in popular music, Robert Hilburn overlooks many of the year’s best and brightest releases. Elvis Costello, Marshall Crenshaw and Paul Westerberg are just three of the many examples of artists who released mature, compelling and, above all, musical releases in 1996--all of which went unnoticed.

Even when his fellow Times critics honor a worthy band such as Wilco, Hilburn instead gives us Ani DiFranco and DJ Shadow. In DiFranco’s case, the question is since when does the interminable use of the “f-word” constitute “gifted” writing? As for DJ Shadow, how can an album that contains no original music be one of the year’s best? Shameful.

MICHAEL S. BENNETT

Bountiful, Utah

*

In regard to Steve Hochman’s little tidbit about the departure of David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar from Van Halen (Pop Eye, Dec. 29), some of us fans do happen to care about the reasons the two lead singers were dismissed from the band.

A lot of us feel that the band made a foolish decision not to bring back Diamond Dave. Hey, Eddie, don’t be a fool, move your ego over and make room for Roth.

JAMES ACOSTA

Fountain Valley

*

Anyone familiar with the music world over the past 50 years would notice a glaring omission in the “In Memoriam” column.

Paul Weston passed away on Sept. 20 at age 84. He was a gifted arranger-conductor-composer whose talents influenced the music of these years. He was also a kind and generous human being who will be greatly missed.

BILL POWELL

Lompoc

Others readers noted the deaths of comedian and game-show host Ray Combs, 40, on Sept. 2, and dancer-actor-director Gene Nelson, 76, on Sept. 16.

*

Last Sunday, on Page 4 you had Turner taking over Time Warner for $7.5 billion, and on Page 10 you had Time Warner acquiring Turner for $6.5 billion. Must have been a pretty fancy deal!

JOE SHEA

Editor-in-Chief

The American Reporter

Hollywood

Good catch. Time Warner acquired Turner for $7.5 billion.