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LAUGH LINES

* Geraldo Rivera will quit his daytime talk show and return to news reporting. “He’ll leave tabloid trash TV to ask more serious journalistic questions, like: What do transvestite bikers think about global warming?” (Alan Ray)

* Another Godzilla movie is in the planning stages. “How do the Japanese destroy the giant monster in this one? They get him to invest in their stock market.” (Ray)

* The L.A. Health Department has issued a list of warning signs that your favorite restaurant may be next on their hit list. For instance, they offer valet ambulance parking. (Bob Mills)

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* SEND US A LINE: Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Life & Style, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.

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