‘Blue Christmas’ Service Lifts Spirits in Difficult Season

GARDEN GROVE — Sally May of Westminster and her brother, Robert Lewis of Placentia, were seeking comfort at the Garden Grove United Methodist Church.

“This season has been hard for me,” May, 44, said, dabbing her eyes.

Their parents died unexpectedly of heart attacks within a week of each other in October.

“This church was so important to them that I feel like they’re here with us, like this is home,” May said.

May and Lewis were among about 30 people who attended the church’s fourth “Blue Christmas” service Sunday, on the winter solstice. They lighted candles in remembrance of loved ones and commemorated other losses and sadness.

“This is not the merry, jolly Christmas celebration with a pageant, but it’s one to demonstrate that we remain resolutely faithful even in the darkness,” said the Rev. Preston Price, one of three pastors officiating at the service.

Preston saw the idea for a blue Christmas service on the Internet several years ago and found that it appealed to a portion of the church’s congregation.

Not only is it for those who have lost loved ones, but for anyone suffering at a time when they are expected to celebrate, Price said.

“Oftentimes in our singles groups, we’ll talk about how you cope when everybody is talking about their children, and how do you handle it when you don’t have any,” Price said. “Christmas can be a very difficult season for single folk, whether widows or young single parents,” Price said.

But it doesn’t take hardship or tragedy to dim Christmas spirits.

“This year, my wife and I will be spending our first Christmas with no children at home,” Price said. “That’s something new for us.”

For the church’s minister of Christian education, Jerry Owyang, the blue Christmas service allows him to bring his understanding of grief and redemption to the congregation.

Owyang’s brother, Gregory, was the assistant pastor at the First Chinese Baptist Church in Los Angeles. Before a sermon in the summer of 1985, a parishioner shot and killed him.

Tears filled Owyang’s eyes as he recounted his brother’s murder. Life is full of endings, he said. But after the ending comes redemption.

“We all have stories to tell, and what’s significant is that grief be honored,” Owyang said. “Life is full of mini-deaths.”

Owyang’s wife, Julie, nodded as he spoke. Her first husband, of 20 years, who also was a pastor, battled depression and committed suicide. She met Owyang at a Methodist convention last year when both attended a singles event.

The grief and pain do not disappear, they said, but hurts can be healed.

“In the context of faith, there is always the eternal perspective of hope,” Jerry Owyang said.

May and Lewis left the service feeling not merry, they said, but comforted.

“I feel better now,” May said. “I’ve been needing a place to come and cry.”