Flea-Flicker Looks Tame by Comparison

Frank Luksa of the Dallas Morning News writes that readers, prompted by a message on his paper’s web site, were asked to design a play that would ignite the Cowboys’ offense and fax it to the paper. A sampling:

“ ‘This is what our intramural/youth team calls CB4,’ a volunteer coach wrote. ‘Once the ball is snapped, the QB backs up and tosses the ball over his head to an awaiting RB or TB.’

“ ‘Then the QB and two WRs head down the field for a long pass. The QB stays close to one WR in case of butterfingers.’ ”

Before Dallas Coach Chan Gailey heeds any of this advice, he should consider what former NBA player and coach Johnny Kerr once said: “If a coach starts listening to fans, he winds up sitting next to them.”

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Trivia time: Who was the first Heisman Trophy winner to play in the Rose Bowl game?

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His legacy: Fran Blinebury of the Houston Chronicle on Charles Barkley: “Through the time of its greatest growth, the NBA--and even Air Jordan himself--needed Barkley as kind of a counterweight to all of the high-gloss packaging of corporate vanilla sameness.

“He always stirred the pot and kept them in touch with the street. He was the pea under their mattress, never letting Commissioner David Stern and the suits get too comfortable.”

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Futility: Art Spander in the Oakland Tribune on the floundering San Francisco 49ers and Golden State Warriors:

“Radio station KNBR is running a fan poll, asking which team will make it to four wins first. The bigger question is, which team will win a game?”

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Bonding: Jon Barry, a former Laker, on the Sacramento Kings’ team rapport: “Last week or so, there were 12 guys who went to dinner together. This is my fifth NBA team and that was the first time I’ve been on a team where the whole team ate together and liked it.”

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Errand guy: Florida State’s Peter Warrick did not make the list of five finalists for the Heisman Trophy presentation today. “However,” comedy writer Jerry Perisho said, “the cost-conscious Downtown Athletic Club announced it will send him to the store to buy snacks for the ceremony.”

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Forever young: Igor Larionov, 39, attributes part of his continued success with the Detroit Red Wings to the two glasses of wine he drinks daily--red in the winter, white in the summer.

Comment from Tom FitzGerald of the San Francisco Chronicle: “Every game, in other words, he gives a vintage performance.”

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Trivia answer: Frank Sinkwich of Georgia, which defeated UCLA, 9-0, in 1943.

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And finally: Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, noting that Uga V, the University of Georgia’s bulldog mascot, had died of a heart attack: “He was the only mascot to appear on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Which explains why he died.”