COLLEGE BASKETBALL TOP TO BOTTOM

No. Team (record) Comment

1. North Carolina (20-2) Nothing Cameron crazy about that win at Duke.

2. Stanford (20-1) Loss to UCLA just what Dr. Naismith ordered?

3. Duke (21-2) Fans turn in T-shirts denouncing lousy North Carolina coach.

4. Illinois (18-5) Dykstra says this team is tough as nails.

5. Michigan State (18-3) Loss at Champaign dashes Big Ten caviar dreams.

6. Iowa State (20-3) Defending Big 12 champion is playing like it.

7. Kansas (18-3) Latest loss to Iowa State leaves team in Phog.

8. Arizona (15-6) Knock on Woods is he plays like a willow.

9. Boston College (17-2) Coach honored by city’s Marching Chowder Society.

10. Syracuse (18-4) Loss to Boston College recorded by late-night demotions committee.

11. Tennessee (18-5) Point guard injures hand slapping a “high five”?

12. Virginia (16-5) Loss to North Carolina State doesn’t look good on ACC resume.

13. Florida (15-5) Mark Twain says reports of team’s demise greatly exaggerated.

14. Wisconsin (15-5) Getting money’s worth out of Kirk Penny.

15. Georgetown (19-3) Yes, two losses to Steel Town team would have been the Pitts.

16. Iowa (17-5) Rebounder Reggie Evans named chairman of the boards.

17. Alabama (17-5) No hoop talk allowed during national football signing week.

18. Notre Dame (15-5) USC AD wonders how Irish got a star player named “Troy.”

19. USC (16-5) Pac-10’s toughest team with Sam “Bam” Clancy.

20. Wake Forest (15-7) After 12-0 start, team is now, ah, you do the math.

21. Maryland (15-7) Needs an ACC-DC outlet check after three losses in four games.

22. Fresno State (18-3) Contemplative Tark says, “Life is like a box of raisins.”

23. UCLA (13-6) Might we suggest a screening of “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.”

24. Kentucky (14-7) Fans boo coach’s son all the way to Final Four?

25. UC Irvine (17-2) Anteaters win coveted poll spot in local car-wash raffle.