Kim is birdie man of Augusta

FROM AUGUSTA, GA. — He was standing in a stiff Georgia breeze, wearing his stiff Masters stare, when the most amazing thing happened.

Tiger Woods spoke, but nobody listened.

The voice from the throne was drowned out by the cheers for a serf.

As Woods stalked behind the 18th green explaining how he missed yet another putt, Anthony Kim was standing on the green sinking one.

The crowd roared for golf’s hottest sticks Friday while offering a deafening reminder that, for a second consecutive day, Woods didn’t have them.

Setting an official Masters record with a flock of colorful birdies -- 11, all told -- the kid Kim shot the day’s best round.

Setting an unofficial Masters record for spate of colorful misses -- into the trees, the wood chips, the crowd -- the harried Woods shot the day’s most painful round.

From where he swaggers, five shots off the lead, it appears Kim may be ready to win this thing.

From where he slouches, seven strokes off the lead, it appears Woods may not.

They are two Southern California kids battling on the same golf course, but from vastly different tee boxes.

Said Kim: “Yes, I can win this.”

Said Woods: “I’ve got to play a little better than I have.”

Said golf fans: Please, let this weekend be dominated by one of them.

Beyond this tale of past and present prodigies, the Masters is currently owned by two mechanics with portly smiles and Southern twangs.

Sitting precariously at nine under par is Chad Campbell, the Hooter-ific former star of the minor league tour, and Kenny Perry, a 48-year-old playing in his first Masters in four years.

Both landed at the top of the leaderboard by virtue of final-hole birdies. Combined, they have missed eight cuts in 13 Masters appearances.

Campbell actually led here after two days in 2006 but collapsed to a 75 on Saturday under the heat from Phil Mickelson.

“I’m going to be nervous,” Campbell said.

With good reason. He’s probably not surviving. Neither is Perry, who would be the oldest winner in major history.

The surrounding scenery is too tough, and I’m not talking about Augusta National.

Collected within seven strokes behind them are majors winners Angel Cabrera, Jim Furyk, Vijay Singh, Phil Mickelson, Geoff Ogilvy, Sandy Lyle, Padraig Harrington and, of course, Woods.

When I asked Woods if a large deficit bothered him, he said, “As of right now, no.”

When I asked Kim about Woods’ comment, he said, “I wouldn’t be too concerned if I was Tiger either.”

I would. Woods doesn’t look right. He hasn’t looked right all week.

When he came back from five strokes on the final day for his stunning recent win at Bay Hill, he was floating on adrenaline. That rush seems gone.

What is left, it seems, is an extraordinary athlete still trying to deal with his extraordinarily reconstructed knee.

For two days, the greatest closer in golf has hit poor approach shots on the 18th hole for two bogeys. For long minutes, the most precise shot-maker in golf has been wading out of galleries, around trees, and on the distant back sides of greens.

On Friday he was forever either putting desperately to save par, or chipping madly to save face.

For a second consecutive day, when his round ended Woods did not appear in the hallowed Masters interview room, instead choosing to conduct a brief, snappy news conference on the course.

When that briefing ended, he retired to the driving range, the only man there, swinging from his shoes and muttering at his clubs.

Frustrated with your game? “Yes.”

Leave some strokes out there? “I did, I left a few out there for sure.”

While Woods was working through a breeze that was so strong, it actually blew Harrington’s ball into a one-stroke penalty on a green, Kim was relaxing inside.

With Kim’s trademark giant silver belt buckle and his youthful cockiness, the 23-year-old kid earlier raised eyebrows by admitting that he has played rounds either while hung over or on 45 minutes’ sleep.

He once told Sports Illustrated he wanted to be, “the baddest person on the planet,” which just made him sound like the dumbest, until he was one of the heroes of last fall’s Ryder Cup victory.

Kim’s increased maturity showed Friday, when he acknowledged his attitude toward his day’s-best 65 was formed when reading a newspaper story about the death of Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart.

“I said, ‘Look, it’s been a dream of mine to be at the Masters my whole life, and there’s no reason to pout about a bogey or a three-putt, but enjoy being out here,’ ” he said.

Kim’s fun could be measured by the noise, which grew behind him as he birdied five of the last seven holes, cheers he still doesn’t quite believe.

“Besides my parents and a couple of my friends, I don’t know who is on that bandwagon anymore,” he said. “But of course, I’m still here. . . . I’m still making golf swings.”

The only thing more jarring than the echoes that followed Kim was the silence that followed Woods.

Silence with each bad hit. Silence with each close miss. Silence from everyone, it seemed, except Kim, who said that it was Woods’ historic first Masters victory that pushed him toward excellence.

“I saw Tiger make that putt in ‘97, and that was pretty special for me,” he said. “I think that inspired me to actually start working hard.”

Nothing like a youngster’s memories to make a guy feel old, huh, Tiger?

Actually, two days into a crooked comeback, Augusta National has already done just that.

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