‘Twilight’s’ ‘Eclipse’ list: Our director’s cut
With the news breaking that
Best known for directing the original shopaholic classic Clueless, Amy Heckerling is a master at capturing the best of teen growing pains and adolescent longing. Adding vampire love to her usual spate of forbidden/complicated love storylines (Loser, I Could Never Be Your Woman) could be a logical move for the director.
Cameo:
— Lora Victorio (Con Keyes / Los Angeles Times)
His style is love it or hate it, but, hey, so is Stephenie Meyers writing style. But if Luhrmann has figured out anything, its how to tap into the inner fantasies of teenage girls. His Romeo & Juliet was a high school staple a few years ago.
Cameo:
— Patrick Kevin Day (Jason Merritt / Getty Images)
Not being a hater, but let’s face it: The “Twilight” books are ALL talk and very little actual action. During his heyday in the 1990s (“Trust,” “Surviving Desire,” “Simple Men”) Hartley’s signature style was all about making dialogue do the dance for him. Plus, we’d love to see Hartley regular Martin Donovan show up in a “Twilight” film.
Cameo: Parker Posey or PJ Harvey
— Brill Bundy (Annie Wells / Los Angeles Times)
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Writing about a forbidden romance between a high school girl and a hundred-plus year old vampire? Been there, done that very well in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Angel.” And if you need angsty teen dialogue, Whedon’s your man.
Cameo:
— Jevon Phillips (Richard Drew / Associated Press)
Hello? Wiseman is the authority on vampire-werewolf (lycan) warfare on the big screen. He’ll do it up right and push that pesky little love story to the background. Just don’t expect him to allow anyone to sparkle.
Cameo:
— Hanh Nguyen (Kevin Winter / Getty Images)
Vampires are supposed to be spooky, and M. Night is probably one of the spookiest directors around. Yeah, it might have to switch locations from the overcast Northwest to
Cameo:
— Jevon Phillips (Carolyn Cole / Los Angeles Times)
“The Virgin Suicides,” “Lost in Translation” and “Marie Antoinette” all proved that Coppola knows angst and ennui. Adding a tortured vampire into the mix of her “Is this really a love story?” oeuvre might just be the ingredient she’s been missing.
Cameo: Scarlett Johannson or
— Brill Bundy (Kirsty Wigglesworth / Associated Press)
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He can do no wrong at the moment, has demonstrated that he can flesh out complex relationships, and it would probably be funny. Not sure if he can squeeze Madea into the storyline, though.
Cameo:
— Jevon Phillips (Brad Barket / Getty Images)
We imagine Bay would be able to secure about an eightfold increase in budget for the franchise’s third installment, which would feature a spectacular, explosion-laden motorcycle chase sequence in the aftermath of Bella and Jacob’s bonding ritual of restoring two motorcycles in “New Moon.”
Cameo: Optimus Prime
— Rick Porter (Ray Stubblebine / Associated Press)
Seriously, after telling the stories of the king of
Cameo:
— Andy Grieser (AFP/Getty Images)
After “You’ve Got Mail” and “Sleepless in Seattle,” Ephron is an expert at those yearning romances in which the lovers are parted for some manufactured reason like, say, immortality. But she’ll also keep things lighthearted for balance, maybe making the vampire or werewolf sidekicks really wacky and shallow.
Cameo:
— Hanh Nguyen (Anne Cusack / Los Angeles Times)
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In the movie “She Hate Me,” Lee told a funny, sexy, offbeat tale that — aw, who are we kidding? Spike’s a great storyteller, but probably shouldn’t touch this.
Cameo: Kerry Washington,
— Jevon Phillips (John G. Mabanglo / EPA)
Bella expresses her deep longing for the departed Edward in short, declarative sentences: “Edward is gone. I’m down. Way down. It’s raining. It always rains here. I need him. Have to have him. Vampire? Don’t care. I’m ready.” It’s a natural.
Cameos: William H. Macy, Rebecca Pidgeon and Ricky Jay
— Rick Porter (Francesco Proietti / Associated Press)