<i> Snapshots of life in the Golden State.</i> : Some Wanted Carmel to Skip This Loo Experiment

A few Carmelites (as in residents of Carmel, not the religious order) are raising--what else?--a stink over public Porta Pottis for summer tourists, but with winter here, the matter won’t come to a head, ha ha ha ha ha, until spring.

Now that all the requisite puns are out of the way, here’s the story:

The influx of tourists on Carmel’s streets and beaches was posing a problem: Where could they go? The permanent bathroom at one end of the bluffs above the beach wasn’t enough.

Experimentally, the city set up others--on public property, but too close to private land for residents like Marguerite Hientzleman: “We’re calling it Carmel by the Pee now instead of Carmel by the Sea.”

Rather than fight the fight one privy at a time, says city administrator Jere Kersnar, the city has formed a beach task force to come up with a master plan for all manner of beachly and touristy concerns, including the process of elimination.

“On one hand,” says Kersnar, “I certainly understand [objections]; on the other hand, we had received complaints for years about people urinating in front yards.”

The plan should be ready by summer, but in case it isn’t, be sure to go before you leave home.

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Uniform code: There were enough casualties in the California Assembly’s epic battles over the speakership to raise up a Tomb of the Unknown Politician.

The runner-up pol must be Paul Horcher, the former Diamond Bar Republican who got ridden out of office on a rail after his support of Willie Brown kept the Dapper Democrat in the speaker’s seat, in spite of a GOP voting edge.

Brown, now San Francisco’s mayor, didn’t forget Horcher. First, he made him liaison to the Board of Supervisors. Then Brown sent Horcher to the Parking and Traffic Department as the No. 2 man--No. 1 fell ill, took disability and returned to his old police job.

Here’s where it gets odd.

The San Francisco Chronicle declared that Horcher’s first four official acts were to demand a cell phone, request a car, hire his former legislative aide--and (like his mayor, so fond of bespoken suits) order himself a custom-tailored parking controller’s uniform. So Brown hastily transferred Horcher out to head the city’s solid waste management program. That’s recycling.

A Brown spokeswoman would like to clarify: The parking job was always intended as temporary, the solid waste post is “considered a promotion for him,” a cell phone is a reasonable request, and the car was a loaner from the city garage.

As for the uniform. . . .

Horcher’s Assembly colleagues would have been glad to have him fitted for one a long time ago--something in the turncoat line.

(BEGIN TEXT OF INFOBOX / INFOGRAPHIC)

Guests From Abroad

More than 5.3 million people from other countries visited California in 1995, an estimate that accounts for nearly 26% of all foreign visitors to the United States. These were the top 10 countries of origin for travelers to California:

COUNTRY: VISITORS

1. Mexico: 3 million

2. Japan: 938,000

3. Canada: 827,000

4. Britain: 592,000

5. Germany: 567,000

6. Australia: 264,000

7. France: 256,000

8. Taiwan: 255,000

9. South Korea: 236,000

10. Italy: 159,000

* Mexico estimate based on historical trends and data collected by the federal government. Other countries are projections based on monthly airline surveys by CIC Research Inc. of Oakland.

Source: California Division of Tourism

Researched by TRACY THOMAS / Los Angeles Times

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Poor judgments: Before they go reassembling welfare, said state Senate President Pro Tem Bill Lockyer (D-Hayward), his esteemed colleagues should spend a day with someone on welfare. His Republican peer, Garden Grove Sen. Rob Hurtt, matched the bet and raised it, suggesting that Lockyer et al. spend a day with a middle-class family to find how welfare reform would help them.

Neither seemed to question whether anyone, on welfare or off it, would want to spend a day with a legislator.

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One-offs: An Iowa washing machine manufacturing firm was right on top of the floods with a quick press release of advice on how to launder flood-stained clothes. . . . The new, $9,000 12-foot-high, vandalism-resistant sign in a San Jose park will be taken down after a council member’s complaint that it obscures the ancient oak tree it was intended to show off. . . . Belmont teenagers under 18 who stay out all night or play truant could forfeit their driver’s licenses or have to pony up fines and enforcement costs. . . . The silver lining to the winter’s storm clouds is that declining bird populations, plagued for decades by drought, dams, farms and housing tracts, will have, for once, enough room and food for bountiful summer breeding.

EXIT LINE

“There’s a lot of stupid drivers on the road and we don’t have license plates that say: STUPID.”

--No, but it’s a thought.

Katherine Sher of California Attorneys for Criminal Justice, responding to an idea from state Sen. Ray Haynes (R-Riverside) that the cars of convicted drunk drivers must bear license plates beginning with the letters DUI, as in driving under the influence.

California Dateline appears every other Friday.